Screwed up

MEMORIES

I love memories they keep us alive. Especially the happy ones, but memories makes us sad too. Do you love keeping memories? Me? i dont know anymore.

Im not pretty much a fan of the past. Not anymore since an incident happned last year in November. It changed so many things in me. I became insecure, I became more twisted and confusing to handle (as said by my boyfriend). It sort of gave me a trauma. My boyfriend explained that the reason for this was because it was mistakenly delivered to me. It gave me so much fright that I got stucked in a predicament of paranoia. I dont want to go into details anymore because everything has been said and done (i guess?). * laughs.

I have come to realize that making friends with the past is hard(pertaining to the idea of it, not the person). So many people will try to bring it up at one point, some will try to insist that its better before than now. So many nasty things that will just crush your heart. This made me doubt about my beliefs. it gave me so much pain, to describe it exactly.

I have been to busy thinking what could have been, if it wasnt me that’s here in this position. I have so many “what ifs”. I dont know when is this going to end, I just find it so hard to trust again. I know, im getting all the assurance that i need but still its hard for me to believe it.
Its almost a year now since it happened, its still fresh in my memory. I dont know how to end this misery, I guess i just need to let go. I know i need to. I just dont know how.

Now this question:If a memory was kept, does it mean that the person is still inlove to that person he/she got invoved with? are there chances for them to get back together? Damnit. because we keep memories in order to remember that person once in a while right? So if you dont have feelings for that person anymore, why keep it right?(call me selfish, il stab you. ahaha)

My friend and i had a little talk, I asked this question and he laughed. He told me that It doesnt necessarily mean that if a person keeps something from the past ,it already means that he/she is still inlove with that person. Its a totally wrong judgement because those were the good memories. It should be treasured. Just that. There will always be this special place in a man’s heart for those kind of things. He said.

Woooops!

woops.oh yes.i know.i know. many of you reacted about my past blog. well, i cant blame you guys. we have our own reasons. may it be good or bad. i dont care anyway. hahaha. i just said my piece.. for those of you na natamaan sorry. i mean no harm hahahahah no really. for those na naka relate, thanks sa pag comment. and for those na super inakalang kinkaliwa ako ng boyfriend ko.. EEENNNNK!! sorry. HINDI. mukha lang bitter yung entry ko pero hindi. thank god. wag naman sana and i know hindi.

thanks again for *my readers*.. for the good,clueless and violent reactions.

Para sa mga kabit, naging kabit at magiging kabit

When people are in a relationship for a long time, they can’t help but start taking their significant other for granted.Sometimes they forget just how great the woman they have really is. Men forget how wonderful it feels to have someone who loves them unconditionally.

bakit nga ba me nangangaliwa? bakit nga ba me mga kabit? ano ba ang katangi tanging dahilan bakit kailangan manira ang isa ng relasyon ng iba?

sabi nila karaniwan nagahahanap sila ng iba dahil my mga bagay silang nakita doon sa isa na wala yung girlfriend o boyfriend nila. yung iba masyadong nasaskal o naboboringan sa relasyon nila. madaming dahilan na naiibigay majustify lang yung reason ng pangangaliwa nila.

sabi ng boyfriend ko, malaki daw ang difference ng lying sa not saying the truth. palagi niya sakin tong inexplain at tntry ko namang iabsorb pero hanggang nagyon di ko pa din makuha. ano nga ba ang pinagkaiba ng tinago mo sa kanya ang totoo dahil ayaw mo syang masaktan at sa intensyon mong wag lang talagang sabihin dahil me iba ka pang dahilan? para sakin kasi kahit san mo patignan.. nagsinungaling ka pa din.

di ko magets. si boy gusto si girl, si girl gusto si boy. naging sila. masaya naman ang kanilang pagsasama. hanggang sa dumating ang isang araw si boy nagsawa at naghanap ng iba. di dahil di na niya mahal si girl kungdi dahil gusto lang daw niya ng pampalipas oras. ika nga nila.. “gustong makatikim ng ibang ulam.” mga ganoong istorya na karaniwang nangyayri sa totoong buhay. mga dahilan na.. “there are things that you really cant explain, it just happens