Screwed up

MEMORIES

I love memories they keep us alive. Especially the happy ones, but memories makes us sad too. Do you love keeping memories? Me? i dont know anymore.

Im not pretty much a fan of the past. Not anymore since an incident happned last year in November. It changed so many things in me. I became insecure, I became more twisted and confusing to handle (as said by my boyfriend). It sort of gave me a trauma. My boyfriend explained that the reason for this was because it was mistakenly delivered to me. It gave me so much fright that I got stucked in a predicament of paranoia. I dont want to go into details anymore because everything has been said and done (i guess?). * laughs.

I have come to realize that making friends with the past is hard(pertaining to the idea of it, not the person). So many people will try to bring it up at one point, some will try to insist that its better before than now. So many nasty things that will just crush your heart. This made me doubt about my beliefs. it gave me so much pain, to describe it exactly.

I have been to busy thinking what could have been, if it wasnt me that’s here in this position. I have so many “what ifs”. I dont know when is this going to end, I just find it so hard to trust again. I know, im getting all the assurance that i need but still its hard for me to believe it.
Its almost a year now since it happened, its still fresh in my memory. I dont know how to end this misery, I guess i just need to let go. I know i need to. I just dont know how.

Now this question:If a memory was kept, does it mean that the person is still inlove to that person he/she got invoved with? are there chances for them to get back together? Damnit. because we keep memories in order to remember that person once in a while right? So if you dont have feelings for that person anymore, why keep it right?(call me selfish, il stab you. ahaha)

My friend and i had a little talk, I asked this question and he laughed. He told me that It doesnt necessarily mean that if a person keeps something from the past ,it already means that he/she is still inlove with that person. Its a totally wrong judgement because those were the good memories. It should be treasured. Just that. There will always be this special place in a man’s heart for those kind of things. He said.

Woooops!

woops.oh yes.i know.i know. many of you reacted about my past blog. well, i cant blame you guys. we have our own reasons. may it be good or bad. i dont care anyway. hahaha. i just said my piece.. for those of you na natamaan sorry. i mean no harm hahahahah no really. for those na naka relate, thanks sa pag comment. and for those na super inakalang kinkaliwa ako ng boyfriend ko.. EEENNNNK!! sorry. HINDI. mukha lang bitter yung entry ko pero hindi. thank god. wag naman sana and i know hindi.

thanks again for *my readers*.. for the good,clueless and violent reactions.

First Love VS. You

dalawang araw na kong nagmamarathon ng one tree hill, kahit walang tulog carry lang. syet. pinaka susubaybayan ko talaga yun high school pa lang. at oo addict talaga ko. haha. at syempre damang dama ko naman ang mga pangyayari. huhu feeling ko nga lahat na lang narerelate ko sa mga pangyayari sa buhay ko. pero siguro masyado lang talaga akong imaginative. kung alam nyo ang istorya ni lucas at peyton pwes! nakakainis.. long time friends na naging sila then nagbreak then sila ulit then nagpropose si lucas at itong si gaga tumanggi. ang reason nya di pa daw sya ready. bullshit.

(proposal for peyton)

tapos ngayon may bago na si lucas si lindsay yung editor niya. okay sila masaya at mukha namang nagmamahalan. so lucas asked her to marry him and she said yes. but opcors.